CNN (Casey news network)

Hello viewers welcome to coloumn number 9 of CNN. Lets get started and if you are new here you are way behind. It is 2014 George Bush admits he is gay and Paris Hilton lost her brain in a car accident. Just kidding you will figure it out and it is 2006 (so we think). First we are doomed. It appers that Donovan Mcnabb has suffered a torn ACL and will not play football for the rest of the season and possibly the next season. Why god why?! Next Borat the movie. Now that movie is funny yet confusing at the same time half of it was staged and half of it was real which for the real parts was resulting in people inovolved in the scenes sueing their pants off. Quoting Borat, ” in my country they go crazy”.Next Kramer uses the N word. Yes it apperes during a comedy performance Kramer said some things that upseted the black community. Quoting Borat, “in my country they go crazy”. That is all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

Hello viewers and welcome to coloumn number 8 of CNN. I am Casey and we will skip the introduction you will figure it out. First the new today.com. Why does everything have to be improved huh the new system is so damn confusing. Bring back the old today.com! Next To Catch a Predator.It is a show that captures freaks who like to play naked twister with teenagers. Finally a desicision that Bush has not made. Next the field goal nobody saw coming. We all know that the Buccaners stink but one of the Buccaners hit a 62 yard field goal during an Eagles game. Thank the lord it was two yards off or else we would have had a new record.By the way I apoligize to all the loyal viewers who were disappontied that I did not write on Saturday I never really got the time to do it. That is all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

Hello viewers and welcome to coloumn number 7 of CNN special editions do not count. I am Casey and for those not farmiliar with the concept let me explain. I basically write anything that comes to mind whether it be football politics etc. all right lets get to it. first what Sonic? Sonic advertises around the Philly area and there is no Sonic. is the Sonic here invisible or what? next the K Fed incident. apparently Kevin Federline has signed a deal with World Wrestling Entertainment and he gets attacked by their top guy who goes by the name of John Cena. Celebrities do not belong in a wrestling ring stupid. next The Losing Edge. ever since their win over the Cowboys the Eagles lost more than Andy Reid at a Subway. hopefully they will win this week against those morons the Redskins. that is all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

Hello viewers and welcome to a special edition of CNN. this time it will be a little different then you viewers are use to. as today it will be Media Machine vs Media Machine. Lebron James vs Reggie Bush. 1st topic Money. Lebron James earns 100 million dollars while Reggie Bush earns more than 100 million dollars estimated 200 or 300 million. winner of the first round Reggie Bush. next sports wins. Lebron James record is 130 points while Reggie Bushs record is 26 points. winner of that round Lebron James. next ammount of commercials. Reggie Bush has posed in 1. ammount of commercials Lebron James has posed in 2 winner of this round Lebron James. next ammount of chicks they get in bed. Reggie Bush gets estimated 50 girls after him. while Lebron James gets estimated 40 girls after him. winner of that round Reggie Bush. last topic the winning topic is penis size. Reggie Bushs wang size is estimated 6 inches. while Lebron James pecker is estimated 7 inches. winner and most over hyped media machine is Lebron James. Final Score Reggie Bush 2 Lebron James 3. that is all the time we have we will return to our normal topic tommorow which is what I think of the world. Until then see you next time on CNN.

Hello viewers welcome to the sixth coloumn of CNN. I am Casey and for those not farmilar with the concept let me explain. I basically write anything that comes to mind whether it be football politics etc. yada yada yada and so forth. first the racetrack week. Its been one heck of a week for horse racing fans a couple weeks ago. a jockey fell, a photo finish, and a record breaking number of horses were scratched. good day to be a racing fan. next Lebron James media machine 2. this guy is like the Reggie Bush of basketball. worlds youngest player a Bubble Gum Commercial all that jazz. can you say Viagra becuase thats what he needs if he keeps getting this much attention. next Tom Cruise gets fired from Parramount. due to attention about his religion Cruise gets fired. maybe Tom Cruise and Issac Hayes will move to San Fransico and have scientology children if they belive men have children. join me next Saturday on a special edition of CNN where I compare Lebron James and Reggie Bush media machine vs media machine.

Hello viewers and welcome to coloumn number 5 of CNN. I am Casey and for those not farmiliar with the concept let me explain. I basically write anything that comes to mind whether it be football politics etc. That explains the introduction lets get busy. First Captin Lazy Sleeps again. The americans have been in Iraq like forever and their mind says attack attack attack. Wake up Bush. next The rapist who knocks girls unconcisous. All those girls are at bars and resturants the man probably drugs them next thing you know they wake up and they find themselves playing naked twister with him. Every Necrophilliacs almost dream. next the Wal Mart parody that inspires cartoons. South Park did it The Simpsons did it and most recently Family guy did it. is Wal Mart really getting small buisnesses out of buisness or are they just exagirating the truth. Thats all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.