CNN (Casey news network)

Hello viewers welcome to column number 26 of CNN! Lets get started. First Annas daughters father revealed. Several DNA tests have finally revealed that Dannielynns Father (daughter of the late Anna Nicole Smith) is Larry Birkhead who is Anna Nicole Smiths ex boyfriend. Poor Dannielynn who has to have a dumb last name like Birkhead. Next Finally they acknowledge it. Now one month ago I mentioned how Campbells advertises NFL spokesmen when the season is over. At least now they are acknowledging the fact that the season is over. Finally those greedy bastards at Campbells listen to people. Next Perez Hilton (not to be confused with money hog Paris Hilton). Apparently he is the self proclamed “King of media” well Mr Perez we know who the real king of media is and that is CNN. But really you are a king a Burger King. Hee Haw Hee Haw why that sound can mean only one thing other than the irony of Perez Hilton and Campbells making love it is time for the jackass of the week.

Here are this weeks nominesse

Don Imus (Who is considering taking the cowards way out by retiring after making a controversial comment as reported last week on CNN)

James Blunt (a singer who drove over someones foot while leaving a party)

Trey Anastasio ( a Phish Frontman which I dont know what that is because our source did not reveal what is it who had possesion of drugs)

Chris Rock (A female claimed that he was the father of a child she had 13 years ago)

And the winner is drum roll please Trey Anastasio. That is all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

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