CNN (Casey news network)

Hello viewers welcome to column number 36 of CNN. Now before we start this column one of our sources has found a video on youtube.com about Kobe Bryant ranting about what CNN rants about today such as Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. We reccomend our viewers check it out. Go to youtube.com, type Kobe Bryant Raw on the search engine, and click on the third video you see. We would like to issue a warning that due to suggestive dialouge and strong foul language viewer descration is advised. Now on to the show that makes Jerry Springer look like Sesame Street CNN. First the Paris Hilton interview. Now a couple of nights ago Paris Hilton gave her first media interview since her jail sentencing on Larry King Live. She told Larry that she was a changed person and would never make the same mistake again. Next time Paris dont let your lawyer write speeches for you. Next Smacked Down. Apparently popular professional wrestler Chris Benoit has been accused of murdering his wife Nancy better known to wrestling fans as Benoits manager at one point dubbed Woman and his 7 year old son Daniel and then placeing a bible over their bodies and then hanging himself by his weight lifting machine. Authorites belive the cause of this rampage was steroids. Steroids for a fake sport, talk about desprate. Next the Nintendo Wii. Apparently the Nintendo video game company has made a new system called the Nintendo Wii. The system involves a remote which involves heavily on hand movement. God only knows what some of your hands do without a Wii remote. Just a reminder folks the jackass of the week award has been cancelled it has over worked our writing schedule I aplogize for all the fans of the jackass of the week we are brain storming a replacment for the jackass of the week which should be decided in the coming weeks. That is all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

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