Jul 15 2007
CNN (Casey News Network)
Hello viewers welcome to a special edition of CNN. As a matter of fact this CNN is so special that we had to move it to a Sunday so there would not be a Saturday morning riot. Nah just kidding. In this special edition we will see a day in the life of Paris Hilton BEHIND BARS! Lets get to the action.
7:oo AM The security guards say its wake up time for Paris and the other inmates.
7:20 AM Paris eats breakfast which is usally gruel. Paris requests scrambled eggs and bacon but is given gruel instead.
7:22 AM Paris refuses to eat the gruel but she does not have a choice so she eats it anyway.
8:10 AM The inmates get back in their cells and Paris throws up the food in her cell toilet.
9:00 AM It is morning shower time and Paris tries to flirt with the male guards to reserve the entire shower to her. The guards admit they are gay and kiss each other on the cheek.
9:12 AM Paris must shower with everbody else and does not like it one bit.
9:59 AM The inmates go back in their cells including Paris.
12:00 PM It is lunch time in prison and the inmates head to the cafeteria.
12:07 PM Paris requests pan fried scallops and shrimp but instead gets mystery meat.
12:14 PM Paris accidently bumps into a new inmate named Fat Patty causing Pattys mystery meat to fall to the ground. Fat Patty gives Paris a dirty look.
12:30 PM It is now time for the inmates to go back inside their cells.
2:00 PM It is excersise time for the inmates.
2:10 PM Paris is late for the group as she is too busy throwing up her lunch.
3:10 PM The group waits for Paris to arrive and when she finally does excersise time is over. Fat Patty really wanted to excersise and takes it out on Paris by shoving her to the ground
3:20 PM The inmates go back in their cells.
5:00 PM It is dinner time for the inmates.
5:05 PM Paris requests Flaiming yon and Lobster Tail but instead gets fried chicken. Patty gets in line next but the lunch lady says they are out of lunch and the lady gives Patty some soggy bread instead
5:30 PM While the inmates go back in their cells Fat Patty brutally attacks Paris for 30 minutes straight until security finally separates Fat Patty. Paris has a long night in the prison medical center for the rest of the night. That is all the time we have for today next week we will go back to our normal topic which is what I think of the world and our normal day which is Saturday. Plus we will finally reveal the replacement for the jackass of the week award next week. Until then see you next time.
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