CNN (Casey news network)

Hello viewers welcome to a special edition of CNN. Today on CNN we answer an age old question who would win in a fight between two of Tinsel Towns biggest egos today Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Today CNN has given them an open invitation to settle there problems in the ring! Lets go to Casey Controversy with the play by play

Casey: All right folks we are live from CNN headquarters which is absolutely nowhere in existience.

Casey: Due to undisclosed reasons I have been forced to change my name to Casey Controversy but back by popular demand he is the long lost cousin of Mike Tyson ladies and gentlemen Frankie Tyson.

Frank: Thanks for the introduction C.C I can not wait for this battle Paris Hilton vs Lindsay Lohan I can smell the money.

Casey: Lets take a look at the tale of the tape between these two.

Casey: We have estimated the weight between these two and we found out Paris Hilton weighs 109 pounds while Lindsay Lohan weighs 107 pounds so Paris has the advantage weight wise.

Casey: We have looked up the fighting exprience for these two and we found out that Paris “wrestled” a guy on a video tape while Lindsay does not have any fighting exprience so Paris has the edge exprience wise.

Casey: We have looked up the jail record for these two and we found out that Paris has spent an estimated two times in jail while Lindsay has spent two times in jail as well so both have the edge warrent wise.

Casey: Lets go to our ring announcer David Smith.

David: Ladies and gentelmen today you will see two of Hollywoods most spoiled women battle it out one fall to a finish.

David: CNN headquarters are you ready. Then for the thousands in attendance the millions watching from their computer lets get ready to rumble!

David: Introducing first from New York City New York weighing in at 109 pounds accompined by her BFF Nicole Richie Paris Hilton.

(Crowd Boos Loudly)

David: Introducing Next from New York City New York weighing 107 pounds Accompined by the Los Angles state prison guards Lindsay Lohan.

Casey: Thanks David and lets go to our reffree for the day Osmond Lemons.

Osmond: All right I want a good clean fight no punches below the belt, no alcohol, and no outside interference am I making myself clear.

Paris:Yes.

Lindsay: Yes.

Osmond: Lets get it on.

(Bell Rings)

(The match was basiclly what you would expect with Paris Hilton walking out of the ring at every oppurtunity and Lindsay pretty much doing the same.  It also featured a lot of pin attempts and submission manuevers and ended with Lindsay using a modified STF which is a submission maneuver around the head area which lead to her getting the win. Frank Also made some controversial comments about both women involved in the fight)

Casey: I understand that CNN will be returning to its normal topic next week which is what I think of the world until then see you next time.

Announcer: Todays fight has been sponsered by FOX The Real Resturanters Review.

Announcer: And by Today.com Have You Blogged Today.

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