CNN (Casey news network)

Hello viewers welcome to coloumn number 12 of CNN. Let’s get to it. First the Taco Bell el incdiente. For all of you people against fast food use this to your advantage (ignore that last stament). It appers that Taco Bell has put in an ingrident that makes people sick. Hope none of you are eating Taco Bell right now. Next a record number of suicides. Acorrding to a variety of media a lot of people have been killing themselfes. Hang in there. Next Allen Iversons Retirment. It appers Allen Iverson is retiring from basketball and finding new adventures. I hear he is going to be a cab driver at the Newark airport. That is all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

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Hello viewers welcome to column number 10 of CNN. Yes we have reached the tenth column of CNN all thanks to you loyal viewers and me in particular. before we start myself  ranting about anything I would like to acknowledge one loyal viewer who has subscribed to my blog. Thank you loyal subscriber. Now we get down to funkytown.First Borat banned in Russia? yes it appers the Russian goverment has banned Borat from being shown in Russia. Get your rubber rafts flowing Russian citizens. Next the inhuman wind storm. first thunder flashing everywhere like a hookers breasts then it winds like their is no tommorow. it was the freakin apocolaypse people. Next the Disney Channel. That channel is just a poor excuse for teens with boulemia to complain about how better looking those female actors are and how hot those male actors are. Ooo Zack is so hot oh Ashley Tisdale has better legs than I do shut up you no life loser. And that is all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

Hello viewers welcome to coloumn number 9 of CNN. Lets get started and if you are new here you are way behind. It is 2014 George Bush admits he is gay and Paris Hilton lost her brain in a car accident. Just kidding you will figure it out and it is 2006 (so we think). First we are doomed. It appers that Donovan Mcnabb has suffered a torn ACL and will not play football for the rest of the season and possibly the next season. Why god why?! Next Borat the movie. Now that movie is funny yet confusing at the same time half of it was staged and half of it was real which for the real parts was resulting in people inovolved in the scenes sueing their pants off. Quoting Borat, ” in my country they go crazy”.Next Kramer uses the N word. Yes it apperes during a comedy performance Kramer said some things that upseted the black community. Quoting Borat, “in my country they go crazy”. That is all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

Hello viewers and welcome to coloumn number 7 of CNN special editions do not count. I am Casey and for those not farmiliar with the concept let me explain. I basically write anything that comes to mind whether it be football politics etc. all right lets get to it. first what Sonic? Sonic advertises around the Philly area and there is no Sonic. is the Sonic here invisible or what? next the K Fed incident. apparently Kevin Federline has signed a deal with World Wrestling Entertainment and he gets attacked by their top guy who goes by the name of John Cena. Celebrities do not belong in a wrestling ring stupid. next The Losing Edge. ever since their win over the Cowboys the Eagles lost more than Andy Reid at a Subway. hopefully they will win this week against those morons the Redskins. that is all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

Hello viewers and welcome to a special edition of CNN. this time it will be a little different then you viewers are use to. as today it will be Media Machine vs Media Machine. Lebron James vs Reggie Bush. 1st topic Money. Lebron James earns 100 million dollars while Reggie Bush earns more than 100 million dollars estimated 200 or 300 million. winner of the first round Reggie Bush. next sports wins. Lebron James record is 130 points while Reggie Bushs record is 26 points. winner of that round Lebron James. next ammount of commercials. Reggie Bush has posed in 1. ammount of commercials Lebron James has posed in 2 winner of this round Lebron James. next ammount of chicks they get in bed. Reggie Bush gets estimated 50 girls after him. while Lebron James gets estimated 40 girls after him. winner of that round Reggie Bush. last topic the winning topic is penis size. Reggie Bushs wang size is estimated 6 inches. while Lebron James pecker is estimated 7 inches. winner and most over hyped media machine is Lebron James. Final Score Reggie Bush 2 Lebron James 3. that is all the time we have we will return to our normal topic tommorow which is what I think of the world. Until then see you next time on CNN.

Hello viewers welcome to the sixth coloumn of CNN. I am Casey and for those not farmilar with the concept let me explain. I basically write anything that comes to mind whether it be football politics etc. yada yada yada and so forth. first the racetrack week. Its been one heck of a week for horse racing fans a couple weeks ago. a jockey fell, a photo finish, and a record breaking number of horses were scratched. good day to be a racing fan. next Lebron James media machine 2. this guy is like the Reggie Bush of basketball. worlds youngest player a Bubble Gum Commercial all that jazz. can you say Viagra becuase thats what he needs if he keeps getting this much attention. next Tom Cruise gets fired from Parramount. due to attention about his religion Cruise gets fired. maybe Tom Cruise and Issac Hayes will move to San Fransico and have scientology children if they belive men have children. join me next Saturday on a special edition of CNN where I compare Lebron James and Reggie Bush media machine vs media machine.

Hello viewers and welcome to coloumn number 5 of CNN. I am Casey and for those not farmiliar with the concept let me explain. I basically write anything that comes to mind whether it be football politics etc. That explains the introduction lets get busy. First Captin Lazy Sleeps again. The americans have been in Iraq like forever and their mind says attack attack attack. Wake up Bush. next The rapist who knocks girls unconcisous. All those girls are at bars and resturants the man probably drugs them next thing you know they wake up and they find themselves playing naked twister with him. Every Necrophilliacs almost dream. next the Wal Mart parody that inspires cartoons. South Park did it The Simpsons did it and most recently Family guy did it. is Wal Mart really getting small buisnesses out of buisness or are they just exagirating the truth. Thats all the time we have for today join me again next time on CNN.

Hello viewers and welcome to coloumn number 4 of CNN. I am Casey and for those not farmiliar with the concept let me explain. I basically write anything that comes to mind whether it be football politics etc. that explains the introduction lets get busy. First Hurricane Katrina. I appricate all the help everyones been giving the folks of New Orleans.the only person thats not helping you guessed it Scrooge Mcduck hinself George Bush. 2008 out of the polls Bushy. second Lynn Swann for Jackass. there will never be an Honest Political Symbol and never will Zip, Nada, Zero, None, Nobody. next Reggie Bush The overhyped media machine. now I will admit the kids impressive no doubt about it but he has become the worlds biggest money mule. Enough with the canned goods wheres your championship huh? and that is all the time we have folks join me again next time on CNN.

Hello viewers and welcome to the third column of CNN. Im Casey and for those not farmiliar with the concept let me explain. I basically write anything that comes to mind whether it be football politics etc. that explains the introduction lets get busy. now last sunday I mentioned that South Park had a tenth season and the next media scandal is coming boy was I right. that leads us to number 1 The Steve Irwin Parody. Parker and Stone drew a tasteless drawing of Steve Irwin with blood on his shirt and a stingray on his chest. they did it they finally went over the edge. next the African gang. these guys ride on camels and kill all the men and rape all the women and leave all the children homeless. what do Africans and Dinasours will soon have in common? they will both be extinced. next up George Bush Worlds Lazyiest man. Bush does absolutlely nothing to help this world. I bet Bush is probably asleep while im typing up this column. well thats it for today folks join me again next time on CNN.

Hello viewers and welcome to the second column of CNN! I am Casey and for those not farmilar with the concept let me explain. I basically write anything that comes to mind whether it be football politics etc. That explains the introduction lets get busy. First the Paris Hilton tapes. That moneyhog solves a mystery. Scobby Doo and Shaggy are spinning in there graves and theyre not dead yet. next South Park Season 10. thats right folks South Park is at its tenth season. the next media scandal is coming. next The American who killed three omish girls. I bet thats because he wanted to marry a sheep  and divorce his wife. I should ask him what Hells like when I die.  thats all the time we have join me again next time on CNN.